Gotta get better about keeping up with my blog. I want this.
So my new plan is to seriously work on my doll collection. Its story, and its future. Seems they are profoundly connected to my story and my future.
My grandparents had the opportunity to travel thru out Europe and Scandinavia in the 1950's and 1960's. The story goes that my Grandfather, an engineer, traveled to the Mercedes Benz factory in Germany on one trip, to pick up his new car to drive all around western Europe as a tourist. Six months later, they returned home, importing their used Mercedes Benz to the States. Apparently, saving money not having to pay import duty on a used, personally own vehicle. Anyway, my point being they were thrifty and focused on value for their money, not a trait passed on to my father, their son and, by extension, me. But, that's another story...
Wherever they traveled (overly well-planned & studied) they bought for me, their only grandchild at the time, a doll from that country. These were dolls I was never allowed to play with. Mom guarded them. It was a big deal just to get them out and see them. They were not displayed. No appropriate place.
When the collection was finally transferred to me as an adult, I displayed them in various apartments, on dusty, sun-lite shelves, still inappropriate places. I was blissfully unaware of how badly I was treating my poor dollies, but I loved having around in my space, so much visual clutter & color. Intriguing ornate costumes. The different faces and places and eras. I took great pleasure in them. I think the collection influenced my love of costuming and sewing, and dolls in general, of course.
Mom & Dad carried on the doll-from-places-visited tradition, acquiring more dolls from our trips to places like Williamsburg,Virginia and Niagara Falls. Friends of the family brought back dolls from Hawaii (the new state!) I was heir apparent to other dolls in the family. Souvenirs from my great-grandmother's world tour brought dolls from Russia and Japan.
The cornerstone of my collection is Tommy. A German/French little boy doll of bisque & white kid leather that was my grandfather's. I was fascinated by my grandfather having owned a doll. In my childhood, (I was born in 1952) it was not the social norm boys to play with dolls. I thought it was a little sad, even then, because my dolls were such good friends and consistent companions to me.
Of course, I couldn't play with Tommy, but I loved to admire him on the rare occasions Mom brought him out of his storage box.
(pics of Tommy coming soon, I promise)
Tommy was a gift to my grandfather when he was maybe 3 or 4. His father, my great-grandfather, was a doctor in Albany, New York around the turn of the twentieth century. The doctor saved the life of a young child and the grateful parents presented the doctor's little boy with Tommy.
My brother, Geoff and I have always wished we could identify that child that was saved, but it's all anecdotal oral tradition and damn near impossible to research or even substantiate.
Tom is undoubtedly my most valuable doll, but more than for his monetary worth. I still haven't gotten around to making him clothes. I had an appraisal done years ago and the appraiser suggested I make him a sailor suit and shirt. Really? Make new clothes for an old, vintage doll? I didn't know that was "allowed!"
Never (not yet, damn it!) got around to it. I was shopping for an appropriate big sister for Tommy, to parallel my brother and me, but the candidate dolls were way outta my price range. Now, even more so.
(Yeah, explain all those Tonner dolls, babycakes! How many months' rent ya got squirreled away on that stuff?)
So now it has occurred to me, after my house is being foreclosed on, my job has become more part-time than full-time, my car is about to croak, I'm yet-again behind on my rent, I've learned this last year more clearly what my priorities are and what my possessions really mean to me.
I have learned to let go. Sold some furniture, a painting, the piano,sold some silver, some more furniture. Got rid of clothes, mugs, books, fabric, crafts, stuff! Downsized big time.
Occasional, I have a twinge of sadness of things past, but it's gotten easier, simpler to see what's important in this here'n'now, not my crazy mental pic of what my life was supposed to look like.
Which is on point for the story above.... Except for Tommy, who I'm not yet desperate to part with, the rest of my doll collection has become more of failed obligation. Something I was entrusted with, but did not archive/curate/dust it properly. I used to feel guilty about this. Now, I want to move forward and get it out of my life. No, I'm not mean to donate it to Good Will, they'd throw it out.
My plan is to refurbish my dolls, one by one. Then, find new homes for them. Yes, sell them.
Some I may keep, maybe. Maybe someone will buy them all. (doubtful)
We'll see... How much stick-to-it I've got.
This is I wanna crush! Jen G, keep me honest!
